This is one of my favourite poems. I found it scrawled in pencil across a scrap of paper when I was tidying up. Only a person who risks is free . . .

Proud to do pride? Or take Pride being proud?

Yup, its that time of the year again girls and you know what? It looks like our favourite bitch Mother Nature has woken up and decided perhaps she might treat us to a day or two of hot weather, just in time! I love her really, after all, living in a cold country works for me, being a drag queen and all. Well, have you ever tried to get makeup to stick to your face on a boiling hot summers day? Forget getting it to stay on, you can’t even put the bloomin’ stuff on at all. . .

Imagine the scene; my resident DJ Van Alen and I were tottering precariously along quiet back roads feeling considerably worse for wear but, strangely, not tired for some reason. We are the last of the few from our original disco platoon that started its mission of hedonism so many hours ago, one mate was last seen staggering drunkenly up the beach furiously cursing to himself and everyone else for a reason none only to himself. . .

Expenses never felt so good! If you’re an MP, or a drag queen at least.

So there was me thinking I had a pretty cushy number being a legitimate tax legal drag queen being able to claim eye lashes, make up, wigs and, yes, SHOES on my expenses! Straight up, my accountant says anything you can prove is ‘bought for the sole purpose of work’ can legitimately be claimed as a business expense, WHOOP WHOOP! . . .

Incredibly funny!