I thought writing blogs was a bit of a weird activity on the whole and I didn’t really understand why people did them or why they were so popular. Since having a go, I’m rather fond of spouting accounts of my life experiences and sharing my wealth of useless knowledge predominantly about eyelashes, make-up and stilettos. Its quite therapeutic speaking to an unseen audience and a great way to relax should you find that most precious of commodities, time, to write one, I recommend you have a bash yourself. That said, I enjoyed a laugh out loud moment when I realised that as far as I can tell virtually no one has read any of the self indulgent rhetoric I call blogs which makes it all the more ironic that writing them is so popular if others like me, have no audience. All the more deliciously ridiculous that I’m writing one now since blogging to no-one must be the literary alternative to talking to oneself but in this case, at length and in detail, perhaps confirming my long considered expectation that I am actually completely insane. Do feel free to comment, even if it’s just to say this is shit!

It’s suicide Tuesday and I’m sitting on a bus typing this on my laptop on the way to a studio session way out East with my friend Miss Dextress, recklessly ignoring the distinct possibility I may be mugged at any second and the fact the hinge of my laptop faces increasing likelihood of irreparable damage with every speed bump we bounce over. My mood is simply electric and I’m still buzzing from my weekend (and no, not in that way you naughty thing) because it was simply so much fun.

On Friday night yours truly was back at the brilliantly titled Zombies Ate My Cock at Ghetto in London, this time playing alongside Russ Caten from Neon. I haven’t seen Russ for sometime and it was great to hook up again and play alongside one another not least because he’s a gay man and, after many successful years behind the decks and having run his own night, this was the first time he’d ever played a gay venue, a kind of a ‘coming in’ party? The club was busy and before long were ramping out the finest nu-disco, electro, techtro and house and had the place jumping.

I awoke on Saturday with the symptoms of a ‘disproportionate hang-over’ as I like to diagnose them. In essence it’s a hangover far worse that than the volume you drank the previous night and, I feel, therefore very unfair and good reason to be grumpy if you should so feel inclined. Of course on the other hand you can be lucky with a ‘credit card hangover’ where you ‘buy now, pay later’; over-indulge and some how seem to get away with paying later or indeed it can feel like not at all. Then there’s the ‘happy hangover’ (where you basically wake up still pissed) and can be overcome if you eat well and drink water you’ll be fine if not a bit tired later on. Definitely most horrendous is the dreaded ‘creeper’ of course. There is nothing worse than the hangover that feels like a happy hangover or a credit hangover when in actual fact it gets progressively worse throughout the day until about 4pm ish when you are on your knees asking why you have been forsaken and begging for mercy. Anyway, so I woke up, with a hangover, as is commonplace after a night of drinking.

The morning was spent lounging in bed in my diamonds eating cake as is usual for any diva of my caliber. Sometime in the early afternoon I arose dramatically like a phoenix from my boudoir, donned a satin robe and gracefully made my way to the bathroom where, on looking in the mirror, much to my dismay I looked utterly shit. The remnants of eye make-up smeared pretty much all over my face (I was convinced I’d done a great job or removing it the night before), scraggly hair, a few crumbs dotted around my ‘evidently less accurate when in bed’ cake hole and a face so puffy I would have given our friend Mr. Stay Puff a panic attack about his job security. The afternoon was spent fixing my appearance and packing my costume and music ready to do it all again at my most favourite of favourite residencies Helsinki in Leicester.

Well my bus has arrived and I haven’t been mugged, today is going to be a good day! xx